Bolton Live Music Venue.
22 Manor Street, Bolton, BL1 1TU.
01204 388596.

Monday, 25 March 2013

DOGSTOCKTERVIEW #1: Monster Island

Friend of the pub and all round good egg Daniel Brookes has interviewed the famously interview shy* Monster Island to ask the why we should give a shit about their existance.

Here are the fruits.

1. Whodafuck are "Monster's Island" and why should we watch you at Dogstock? If you could describe yourself in a 'rock equation' all the better (ie. Prince meets Cable at the wedding of Twisted Sister and Pat Benatar).

Hello. I’m Aiden, the bass-player in Monster Island. Our frontman Stephen normally does things like this but he’s delegated responsibility to me.

We’re four men in our late twenties / early thirties. Our desperate, brattish songs reflect this fact.

Expressed as an equation: ((Lucky’s speech from Samuel Beckett’s Waiting for Godot - tennis + Manchester city-centre) + trad trog giant dad rock)* / (three new jerks + the territory in which poseur’s no-wave and amateur-music-for-amateur-dancing interact)

*‘The original slab.’

2. What is the best thing about BOLTON?

My sister lives in Bolton. Once at a BBQ at her house she fed me a grain called Quinoa. It’s one of those super-foods. I feel like my sister or my brother-in-law told me that the Aztecs used to cultivate and eat it.

A non-facetious answer, is: I have seen some very good gigs in Bolton.

If Stephen was doing this he’d probably have an interesting fact about Bolton’s links with Freemasonry, or would say something better/more detailed about good gigs in Bolton.

I’ve no idea what Brendan (drummer) or Ryan (synth/guitar/percussion) would pick. Probably something funny. Those two are handsome and quick-witted.

Monster Island, right now

3. Favourite major coffee chain and why?

I don’t have one. I’m going to guess that Stephen would pick CafĂ© Nero. Again, I have no idea what Brendan or Ryan would say. I don’t think that any human would choose Starbucks.

4. I hear there's a funny story with a dog...

My first response to this is: Yes. Stephen had sex with a dog.

My second response is a quote from John Aubrey’s 17th century text Remaines of Gentilisme and Judaisme. It’s not a book I own, but it’s quoted in the Oxford Dictionary of English Folklore, in the DOGS section:

‘I believe all over England, a spaied bitch is accounted wholesome in a house; that is to say, they have a strong beliefe that it keeps away evil spirits from haunting of a House; e.g. amongst many other instances, at Cranborn in Dorset about 1686, a house was haunted, and two Tenants successively went away for that reason: a third came and brought his spaid bitch, and was never troubled.’

5. Write here why you want the job and your how you meet the basic competencies outlined in GIGAPPLICATION.doc (download here)

We’re a lively band with interesting songs, we’re stylish in our own way, and we try hard. If that isn’t enough then I don’t know what is.


*no actual proof of this being true


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